fragments from the housewarming

A note to self: stock up on ewoks when you become single. Star Wars toys seem to make the ladies happy.So, yes, the party went pretty well. A weird mix of costumed and non-costumed oddballs with little in common except for some occult knowledge of either Her or I. There were debt collectors and DJs, younger brothers and step-siblings, ex-girlfriends and advertisers, nerds and geeks, musicians and butchers, digital artists, doll destroyers and porn connoisseurs. I have half-remembered conversations about blackjack, Balinese masks and fridges from the 1950s. I discovered that Sean Connery is really too old in Never Say Never Again and that the new place officially qualifies as a ‘pad’. I also learned that one should never drink a cocktail named after its inebriated creator. It is invariably both the taste and colour of mud. Concomitantly, never ask someone to make a cocktail for you if a) you openly express your desire to taste something ‘experimental’; and b) the aforesaid someone has had a few drinks themselves. I can only apologise to all parties concerned for that one.

No-one fell off the balcony, or threw up off it. I admit to spending much of the night awaiting a short, splattering sound, quickly followed by the shrill defiled beep of a car alarm. Thankfully, it never arrived. (Remind me to tell you the one about my Honours supervisor’s adventures in Singapore, which involved an escalator with a fifty-foot drop, an unsuspecting open-air café and a lot of bad seafood. On second thoughts, perhaps best to leave that one in the past.)

S_____ left her jacket over a chair. On closer inspection it turned out to be made of the flensed skins of new romantics. P_____ swanked it up, her outfit held precariously in place by a fragile chain stolen from her employer earlier that day. Some players put taproots down into the couch for the first half of the night, while others mingled, displaying their disturbing grasp over the intricacies of Blake’s 7.

Afterwards. There is schnapps in the pantry and ice-cream in the freezer, and three discs of Bad Seeds b-sides to listen to. I just got paid and new comics day is just around the corner. Life is looking good.

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