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EXCLUSIVE! I LOVE MY NEW BODY, SAYS JAYNNE

Jaynne Fable has it all – a world tour, new album, and super-hot model boyfriend – but her latest news is a shocking development. In this exclusive report, we can tell you that the pop starlet has been under the knife for a partial body transplant – and our reporters were there to witness the amazing transformation.

Friends of the chart-topping superstar couldn’t believe the new look. ‘Jaynney was always cutting edge, but I never thought she’d replace her arms with cybernetic death-limbs,’ said a childhood friend.

The trans was shock for her family too. ‘My mother comes from a traditional background, and I’m the first person she knows who’s uploaded. Even a partial fitout like this is pretty jarring,’ Jaynne told us in our exclusive one-on-one.

Our sources close to Jaynne’s inner circle confirm that mother Cheylene is unimpressed. ‘One thing my pastor taught me, right before he succumbed to the Wasting Disease, was that you never mess with what The Lord gave you. I don’t know what has gotten into that head of hers or why she’s decided to attach it to that biomechanical abomination.’

 Even recent headlines haven’t made the pop starlet doubt her choices. The murder of 63 fans by Tunguskan girl-bot trio Yven Odd – during one of their own concerts – shows the risks of sociopathic body transmorphia.
‘Look, what those gynoids did was wrong, for sure, although the whole thing seems like the media blowing the things out of proportion. People kill people all the time. It’s just that they’re undercity types most of the time, not superstars. Anyway, they’ve had everything replaced over the years and I don’t think I would ever do a full ‘load. I might have had over 70% of my body replaced by nanomachinery and steel in a gruelling series of horrific surgeries, but underneath all that I’m still the girl next door.’

Jaynne Fable’s Singularity world tour continues next week in Quezon City, with dates in Manila, Siam and the Dispersed Chinese Republic to follow.

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